From the writer’s perspective it seemed that he was reflecting on how nothing in his life was what society considers “the norm”. Nothing was typical about his life. He skated by in life with minimal drive to do well academically, his aspirations were to be a zookeeper as a child and only as an adult male did he want to be a fireman when everything in his life was falling apart and he wanted to wash his hands of it all by burning it up.
He worked jobs that paid the bills, not that he enjoyed doing. He was married and divorced and then fell in love with his current wife of whom their relationship and love for each other seemed to be the first thing in his life that he worked hard to develop and grow (by talking on phone, writing love letters, and enduring a long distance relationship).
They ended up marrying and he had to prepare himself for fatherhood of which he never imagined would come of his life especially because he only knew how “not” to be a father. He was prepared, however, to hopefully be a better father than his own as he knew his own child would change his mentality that he only knew how not to be a father.
The obvious statements of thinking you are preparing for a baby but there really is not PREP for having a baby until they enter your lives provides some foreshadowing for how he and his wife could never prepare for how drastically their lives were about to change.
The author seems to suggest that he is beginning to grow up and have some ambition in life as he is now married and expecting a child and that his life might be turning more into the societal norm of getting married, having children, etc.
–Melanie Gillenwater, SLP at Coral Ridge and South Park TAPP